He Loved Him
by CowboySteel
Summary: A snapshot of James and Lily's wedding from the point of view of the ever-lonely and yet ever-loyal best man.


_This is my first Sirius x James fic and to be honest, you can read it how you like. It's intense friendship or it's something else. I've always been a girl who thought that if Sirius loved anyone, it was James, whether it was brotherly or otherwise. I think he was a bit scared to let himself love and James is the one man he can trust to love him back. On James' part, it's entirely brotherly, Limes is my OTP like you have no idea. I don't think James ever realised in any way that Sirius had feelings for him. Obviously he knew that Sirius wasn't a "feelings in moderation" sort of guy but I just don't think the thought would ever have occurred to him. He loves Sirius like a brother and he assumes the feeling is mutual and in the same vein. But I've always thought Sirius was a bit ambiguous really. However you define Sirius' feelings, you can't deny that Sirius loved James intensely anyhoo. So here we go. _

_I hope you enjoy._

* * *

Sirius watched as Lily and James Potter took to the makeshift dancefloor for their first dance as husband and wife. Lily looked radiant, beaming at her husband as he made light of his awkward situation; James didn't like dancing in front of people and so, on the rare occasion he was forced to, he made the extra effort to look as silly as possible. Right now, he was shaking his head and wiggling his hips like that Muggle singer, Elvis. Sirius shook his head, smiling fondly. The boy was an idiot.

Sirius pulled out a cigarette from his trouser pocket and placing it between his lips, lit it. He took a long drag as he continued to gaze at the happy couple. He couldn't remember a time when this wasn't exactly what James had always wanted. He thought the last time he'd seen James without his Lily-funk was the Christmas of 4th year. The Lily-funk happened in the January and though Sirius had hoped it was a phase (not least because James had been miserable at the time), time would prove that it wasn't. James loved Lily and now Lily loved James. _Meant to be, _thought Sirius.

He pulled the cigarette from his mouth and blew out more smoke, knocking the ash off the end with his forefinger. Today was a weird day. It was a weird but fairly nice phenomenon; seeing everyone again. All the Hogwarts regulars in one place. He looked around absentmindedly, his gaze falling upon one old schoolfriend after another. Marlene McKinnon. He'd snogged her in 6th year. She was cosying up to some Quidditch player now, Sirius couldn't recall the name. She probably didn't even remember snogging Sirius anymore. He sighed and turned away, as Emmeline Vance danced into his line of sight. Sirius grinned as he caught her eye and she waved happily. He had always liked Emmeline. She swore like a sailor and she wasn't exactly what one might call ladylike but she was fun and everything Sirius admired in a person. She was strong, and fairly pretty too, if one were looking at her like that. They'd shared a rather misguided snog as well, in 4th year. Just after James had decided he was in love with Lily Evans and that his every waking pubescent thought would be dedicated to her. Sirius picked up his glass of firewhisky and tossed it back before taking one more drag on his dwindling cigarette. He stubbed it out quickly.

"Penny for them?"

James threw himself into the empty seat beside Sirius, grinning. He poured himself a firewhisky and swirled it in his glass. Sirius snorted.

"Don't waste your money, mate. No thoughts you'd want to listen to." He winked.

James laughed. He had a stupid laugh, Sirius thought. It was childish, and always made his face scrunch up. But if James Potter laughed, you couldn't fail to do the same. Bloody infectious really. His stupid laugh.

James ran a hand through his hair as he drank from his glass. He looked around just as Sirius had done a moment ago. "Weird day this, isn't it?"

Sirius nodded. "Very. Never thought I'd see the day one of us got married."

James smiled. "Me neither. And it's Evans as well." He looked over towards his new wife and Sirius could practically see the twinkle in his eyes. Sirius nudged him.

"Stop mooning or she'll divorce you. For being too keen and a bit weird."

"Too late for that, don't you think?"

Sirius sighed. "Ah, true. If she was going to dump you for being mental, she'd probably have done it when she saw your transfiguration notes all those years ago."

James pulled a face. There had been a time when he had accidentally loaned his notes to a surprised Lily. Surprised for two reasons: one, she had never realised that James actually paid enough attention in lessons to take notes and two, her name was scrawled in all the margins. She would later decorate the dining room in the exact shade of red that James had flushed when he realised.

They were silent for a few moments, which was not something you see every day if you're friends with Sirius and James. Silence is not really their volume level of choice. James broke it soon enough.

"It really is weird isn't it? Seeing everyone?" he asked, pensively.

Sirius nodded. "It is. After all this time... Can you believe we've been out of Hogwarts for two years now?"

"_Merlin..._" James bit his lip and turned to Sirius.

"I'm glad I've got you, mate."

Sirius was sure his heart had clenched. He gave a strained but nonetheless genuine smile.

"Me too."

James poured himself another drink and raised his glass to clink it with Sirius'. "To the Marauders. May our mischief never be managed."

Sirius snorted again and rolled his eyes. "To the Marauders. May Prongs never stop making pathetic toasts." He raised his glass and drank.

James punched his shoulder with mock annoyance and downed his drink too.

"Prat," he said, as Sirius smirked at him. He looked at his best friend for a second before pulling him into a brief but meaningful hug. The hug was so brief that Sirius barely had time to be taken aback. As James released him and leaned back, it dawned on Sirius what this hug meant. It meant thankyou. It meant loyalty. But most of all, in these dark times, it meant _please stay alive. _

"I better go and show the wife a good husband," he said, beaming to himself at the new words he could use in reference to himself and Lily. He saluted Sirius and strolled off towards the bride. He was so loved up, Sirius actually did laugh. James could be the soppiest, most uncool bloke but he still seemed to have this ridiculous charm that convinced you he was the only person worth being around. Sirius loved that. He watched as James kissed Lily and supposed that it wasn't just the charm he loved. It wasn't just the stupid laugh. He loved everything.

He loved James.


End file.
